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Monday, November 18, 2002Right from the start, Michael found himself falling into familiar patterns with Sylvia. ''The distrust of a woman -- I had it deep,'' he says. ''I physically abused my first wife -- smacks, punches, kicks. And then I turned around and did it again with Sylvia. The least little thing, I would fight her. I would hurt her. And she didn't deserve none of it.'' Speaking now as a sober-minded 41-year-old, after all he has been through and more precisely all he has put others through, Michael is trying hard to shoulder full responsibility for his actions. Sylvia, however, argues that the dynamic was mutual all along. Michael wasn't the only one who had issues, she says. When they met, she had just escaped from a violent relationship that deteriorated to the point where the man was stalking her, armed with a knife. She was defensive and her fuse was short. ''It's inaccurate to say only that Michael would beat me,'' Sylvia says, more forgiving of Michael than he is of himself. ''He did. But we would beat each other. We would destroy the house. It became kind of dangerous for both of us. I didn't know who was going to kill who.'' This is true in the majority of domestic violence cases. You have two people who fight, tempers flare, neither are able to control their impulses, and boom - they end up hitting each other. Few women are the docile and innocent lambs that the media and feminist groups have portrayed them to be. Dealing with the problems that both parties bring to the table rather than putting the blame on men only makes sense, and would certainly be a more effective solution. It also makes it possible to address the problem of domestic violence between same sex partners more effectively. posted by Sydney on 11/18/2002 08:11:00 AM 0 comments 0 Comments: |
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