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medpundit |
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Monday, July 07, 2003Scene opens with a pair of binocular-toting border guards watching a remote stretch of river at dusk. First Border Guard: Here they come, just like clockwork. (Camera pans to a trio of middle-aged men, stripped to their shorts, walking stealthily to the edge of the river, looking around cautiously, then wading into the stream and swimming across, the handles of valises gripped in their teeth.) Second Border Guard: I’m surprised any of them are left, considering how many have already made it across the border. Why can’t they just go back where they’re coming from? It can’t be that bad. First Border Guard: I don’t know. Personally? I can’t help but feel sorry for them. They’ve been hounded by trial lawyers, abused by insurance companies and ignored by their elected officials. You can’t blame them for trying to make a better life for themselves and their families here. Second Border Guard: I suppose you’re right. And what good would it do to turn them back? Another batch will just take their place tomorrow, and the next day and the next, until things change in their homeland. First Border Guard: Well, it’s show time! (Flips on a searchlight and focuses it on the trio of swimmers, now emerging on the border guards’ side of the river) Gentlemen! Welcome to the state of Ohio! If you doctors will please surrender your West Virginia driver’s licenses, we’ll transport you to the nearest medical center for pre-employment processing. (Turns searchlight back to West Virginia shore, where another group of border-crossers is already approaching the river.) When’s it ever gonna end? Second Border Guard: Not until the last medical professional in West Virginia turns out the light. Sorry fellas, it's almost as bad in Ohio. At least it is if you're near a major city. posted by Sydney on 7/07/2003 07:33:00 AM 0 comments 0 Comments: |
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